For a guy who uses social media on a regular basis and is an admitted hopeless romantic, I’ve never been one to boast about my significant other on social media. Sure, I’ll eventually change my relationship status, but I’m not the type of guy who is going to post new pictures of us every week, write on her wall every other day, or find any reason to shout-out my girlfriend in a status about how awesome she is. That’s just not how I’m wired.
There are plenty like me, and plenty who aren’t like me, and neither seem to bother me. But there is one couple that irks the hell out of me: the dysfunctional couple that uses social media as a platform to seek validation through a public image that is nothing more than a mirage.
It’s one thing if you’re madly in love with each other and just happen to take a bunch of selfies together, but it’s another thing to be a couple that is constantly fighting over something and venting to their social circles (or anyone who will listen), yet will put up a public testimonial of how wonderful their significant other is.
The problem with a dysfunctional couple posting these sappy commendations for their significant others is that it’s false advertising. They’re selling lies (happiness) about a product (the relationship) to possibly unsuspecting spectators, and they’re also ruining the already tainted reputation of an exclusive relationship.
Saying that you’re happy doesn’t mean you’re happy. Saying you love someone doesn’t mean you love them. Posting a picture of you and your significant other kissing on an exotic beach means nothing more than the fact that you took a trip to an exotic beach and decided to take a picture while you were there.
If you loved your boyfriend as much as you say you do, you wouldn’t be hitting up your ex and venting about your man. If you loved your girlfriend as much as you say you do, you wouldn’t be flirting with other women just to “see what’s out there.”
Actions have always, and will always speak volumes louder than words. These actions do not include giving your man a back rub once in a blue moon or buying your girl flowers when you feel the urge to. These actions are about consistency and respect, and they’re done behind closed doors — not the see-through window that is Facebook.
I’m not a materialistic guy, and I’d be willing to bet that a small love note on the table every morning goes miles further than sexy lingerie one night. If something I did bothered you, have a mature conversation with me so that I can understand the root of the problem.
Love is work — plain and simple. It’s not designed to be easy. Love will come with hurdles — emotional, financial, professional, etc. — that you will have to clear together. If love was easy then everyone would find it and the divorce rate would probably be in the single digits instead of the majority. You can put on a smile and fake your way through it, but you can only fake your feelings for so long until the truth starts to reveal itself.
Some people think that taking a picture or writing a status and sending it off into the online world will wash away all of their problems. “It got 156 likes — people must think we’re adorable. See, we are good together.” That’s not the way it works. Whatever annoys you about your significant other will still be there once your notifications stop going off.
We hardly want to commit to a date anymore (let alone a relationship), and if people are seeing the dysfunction that comes with it, nobody in their right mind would want to try their own luck. From where I’m sitting, I don’t blame them.